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Monday, April 19, 2010

=X

After came back from PC fair.. I ask CK to send me to kor's house.. Then, he told me everything.. yes.. EVERYTHING.. good bad happy sad.. but i guess mostly is bad.. what they saw IN ME during pd.. it was hurt.. my heart was torn.. i cried.. and that was totally awful.. thinking back.. why did i cried? i realise.. i had really really really hurt my best friend.. i have been so cruel.. i'm totally a JERK!!! you know what.. PEI LING is a JERK!! i wish time could go back.. so that i could prevent all this from happening.. but.. what had happen its already happen.. i can't deny it.. what kor told me.. it is their opinion.. and.. what they said is right.. thinking back what abu had told me.. The reason why me and one of my friend are separated.. in other way, from a friend to a stranger.. because he couldn't accept where i'm being "too socialize".. we were good friends at first.. but after few things happen.. that's it.. the end.. for now.. we were still talking to each other.. at college... it's becoming better now.. I hope.. hmm.. I don't know whether i'm still not mature enough or what.. I do what I want to do.. what I wanted, I must have it.. I don't care other people's feeling.. don't care those people who care about me.. eventhough if I hurt them or make them sad.. i don't take any action to make thing right.. not only my friends.. even my own family.. now i really realised.. my sister did scold me once.. she even posted it at facebook.. because she really cannot stand with my attitude that time.. i admit it.. i was wrong.. few times.. not few.. many times.. i've make my dad worried about me..he did adviced me quite numbered of times but i'm still me.. "sei sing pat koi"...  i've being a bad daughter.. bad sister.. even a bad friend.. hmm.. i still got one more week for my holiday.. I don't know how I wanna face my friends especially her.. but for now.. I would prefer to be alone.. I need some time.. to change myself..  I really would like to say I'm so so sorry.. for everything I did.. Sharon.. no matter what.. you are always my bestfriend ever.. Till now, we both haven't been talking to each other at all.. Even when we go to Pc Fair.. not at all.. For now, it's not that I don't wanna talk to you or what, its just that, I don't know how to face you aor to start my conversation with you.. because.. I felt ashamed.. After what I had treated you.. and you have been trying to do is just protect me.. How foolish and stupid am I.. hmm.. Besides that, I'm very very glad because I still have my kor, CY who care so much about me.. he wake me up.. I was thinking.. when i drunk during pd, why you guys didn't just give me a big slap... or pour water on me.. so I could wake up from keep embarrassing myself... kor.. thank you for being there for me.. I've read your blog too.. hmm.. what can I say.. I have learnt a lesson.. I will try to change myself to be a better person.. for you.. and for all those people who care about me.. I'm sorry for making you feel so tired instead it should be a happy and enjoying trip.. =X

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